Your High-Performer Showing Signs Of Disconnect? Here’s A Step-by-Step Conversation Guide To Save Them From Underperformance (Instead of Waiting Perpetually and Dinging Them Later At Reviews)

Most managers silently judge their reports when they suddenly stop meeting expectations.

This is a mistake because:

• Your silent waiting can set them up for failure at work.
• It’s an opportunity to support them and show that you care personally.
• They either get a bad rating from you later, or they end up leaving work.

Use this 10-step conversation guide to support your report deeply:

1. Set up honest context.

“I sense a disconnect. I want to have a conversation about it. Are you open to that?”

2. Help them relax and open up

“Don’t worry. Nobody is getting fired or getting a bad review. This conversation is only to support you. I want to help you with whatever is going on.”

3. Get specific

Give specific examples of what made you sense that they’re different than before. “I notice…. But based on the past, I would have expected you to…”. “What’s going on?”.

4. Make them feel even safer

“Even if you’re unable to articulate properly, try to tell me what you’re feeling. It won’t mean that you’re committing to something. We’ll discuss what we both can commit to later.”

5. Reflect without judgment

“So you’re feeling X, Y about Z. Am I hearing that right? Is there anything else I’m not getting?”.

6. Fully understand their context. Bite your tongue from advice.

Your only job is to understand them so much that you feel, “No wonder they’re feeling this way and acting this way. I would’ve done that too”. It’s not the time to give advice. Ask them again, “Do you feel I fully understand you?”

7. Brainstorm options with them

Get them to tell you what they need. “Are you open to brainstorming some options? What do you need at this moment?”

Some options: More coaching from you, contacting a therapist, taking a few weeks off, or connecting them to someone in your network.

8. Get them to commit to one of the options.

Before they leave the conversation and their life takes over again, have them agree and commit to one of the options.

9. Ask if they need more support.

Find out if this conversation supported them and if they would like to talk again soon.

10. Schedule your next follow up

Set your follow-up right in the conversation before both of you get busy and push aside the uncomfortable candor aside.

Read this post and more on my Typeshare Social Blog